In this day and age, we’re all very much encouraged to express ourselves, to be who we want to be and be true to ourselves. “That’s just who I am” and “I can do whatever I want” are catch-phrases that are swung around plenty and often just to emphasize that we’re who we are and we’re allowed to be ourselves. But just how much should we allow ourselves to become comfortable in the role of being ourselves? Is there a limit to being ourselves or is the sky truly the limit? I’m vouching for the first option. And I’ll explain to you why.
Everybody wants to achieve things. We have dreams and goals and we work towards completing those goals. We want to be something greater than what we are right now. It might be you want a promotion or it might be that you want to become a better dancer. But it could also be becoming a better money saver so you can at last afford those swish new Louboutin pumps you’ve been gawking at for a while.
Sometimes it’s quite easy to get to the next level, other times it might take ages just because it’s not very easy to get to where we want to be. And then there are the times when we really just aren’t going to make it, no matter how hard we try. Not very nice, after all all of our mothers told us that we could be whatever we wanted to be. Was she lying? Was she just trying to be nice to us? Not a nice thing to consider, huh.
It’s not our mums though that set us up for complete failure. Most of the times, without interfering from the Big Bad Outside World, the biggest problems in our lives are we. We keep ourselves from achieving things, we neglect our own dreams and fail to find our passions. But also; it’s us who don’t investigate and delve deeper and it’s us that don’t try to find out why it exactly is that what makes us fail too.
The first thing to getting achievements done is recognizing your weak points. Because they are the monsters that prevent us from being who we want to be. Can’t keep order? Learn to organize. Can’t keep concentration? Practice focusing. Can’t seem to get your life sorted? Err, I don’t know how to fix that since I don’t know your specific situation but I’m sure that if -you- investigate a bit further and look at how others do it, there’s a difference between you and them.
And there’s another thing. Don’t just self reflect, look at others too. What do they do to achieve similar things you’re trying to achieve? Do they work more hours? Do they dress differently? Do they listen to different music, do they eat differently? Why are they succeeding and why aren’t you? Surely not because they are better people with better genes. It might be they come from different situation, had a different education, grew up with more money but those are simply excuses to grade yourself inferior to them. So what if they had all that, and you didn’t? That does by no means mean that you cannot make it for yourself too. You can do the same thing.
But you’re being held back by your perception of you. Usually people use “That’s just who I am” as a shield for when they mess up, don’t know a way out or are caught in a situation that’s too easy to settle in. Some are okay with that and find the excuse “that’s just who I am” all too nice and easy to use. It’s comfortable to not have to change. Those people will most probably remain at the same level and will never grow further.
If that’s not your style and if you do have goals and achievements you actually want to make happen for you, then stop being who you are and start working towards who you want to be in the future. If you see something isn’t working out for you change it. You weren’t born the way you are today and you won’t be the same person in 20 years so why not acknowledge it and actively make choices to control who you’re going to be.
Don’t be yourself. Assess, refine, polish up, change and adjust: be your future self. I promise it’ll work and that you can be anything you want to be. Though within reason, of course. Don’t try to be a rocket scientist without proper knowledge. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the results.
5 thoughts on “Why you shouldn’t allow yourself to be yourself”
This is SO right on! I think the present-day obsession with self-“esteem” ends up creating a whole bunch of not particularly estimable selves, when taken to its logical conclusion. A little bit of personal discontent, without self-loathing, is possible and preferable, or–you’re right–we just end up becoming excuse-making monsters. It’s in all of us. But it’s also possible to transcend that. It just takes a bit of effort. And sometimes effort requires doing something that doesn’t at first seem to come “naturally.”
But the more often you do it, the more natural it becomes (thankfully!)
Not an easy thing; to balance between the self loathing and healthy introspect. I can imagine it can go awfully wrong at times.. But I suppose that’s another something to teach yourself; don’t panic and don’t overdo it. 🙂 Thanks Jenn!
That’s right! 🙂
I loved this whole thing, but I especially loved this line here: “So what if they had all that, and you didn’t? That does by no means mean that you cannot make it for yourself too. You can do the same thing.”
It’s so easy to get caught up in excuses for why we’re not where we want to be, but if you think about it, most people on Earth today, even in poorer areas of the world, have so much more ability to transcend the estate they were born into than almost any other time in the entire history of humanity, that it sometimes strikes me as incredibly sad we’re not all exactly what and who we want to be.
Loved this post. It very insightful. Thank you. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂 I agree, looking at what we have and how many possibilities we have; even if we don’t have it all, we still have a lot more than many others. -They- manage to smile and make the most of it, what’s our problem 😛